- Hiya, sailor. … Where you-you sailin’ from and wha-where you sailin’ to? … She said nervously, mumbling, stuttering, twitching as a turned on tweaker or a creepy crack-head.

She liked me … got a wet one for me … without rude immodesty … I swear, I guarantee … being her state of attraction … looking all roughed up by drugs, violence, and stupidity. … Her twitchy behavior continued and I knew there was no way she could not be a crack-head instead of or perhaps in addition to, a shit smoker. … Crack was more of her thing. … Being 40 pounds over-weight didn’t help, either. … Nor did an overall flat, unappealing, misshaped, blah blah blah white trash sculptured self-help anyone.

- Hi ... I said simply … wondering why I stayed at the bar and now wondering what I was going to do. I was on my fourth beer and was curious what this couple’s deal was. … I was also apprehensive in the apples. … They were unstable and unpredictable … with clear-cut clear cutting violence in both of them. … They were disturbed and dented in dill-weed pickles. … But … and here’s where the adventure’s hooks got into me … this couple probably junkies of some sort … not necessarily of actual junk … but closer to my cunt kind … or perhaps of the crack kind.

Whatever it was that did it for them … if they did not have what did it for me … crystal methamphetamine … perhaps they could direct me in the right direction. … Certainly was not going to buy crack … I hated crack … imagined desert crack, white trash Arizona desert crack must be one of the worst. … But if they had shit, or knew someone who did … then I wouldn’t have to worry about running out of my current stash of shit shards. … The 2 ½ grams I last got from Rosie should last me another week.

After that, though, what then? … Go back to L.A.? … Hook up with Rosie? … Would that mean I’d stay in L.A.? … Probably. … If I didn’t want to go back to L.A. … as I didn’t … having more shit with me would be a good idea as I went further and deeper into the Unknown of my Travels. … So I decided to be friendly.

- You mind me sittin’ next to you? … She asked after having been sitting there for two minutes.

- No … I don’t … Does your boyfriend?

- Oh, no … he’s not my boyfriend.

- Slap shots in hockey games … long distance ones that shoot through the air like lasers … those are cool.

- We’re brother and sister.

- Brother and sister?

- Yup.

- Is that legal? … Weren’t you two wet-kissing it on the mouth a little while ago … playing around, touchy feely?

- Ok … I’ve had enough! … Leave me alone! … Leave us all alone! … All of us!

- The Evilution of Decay. … Bravo.

- You’re not The Riddler, are you?

- Quiet definition intensifies promises … so beware … but no … I am not The Riddler. … I create schisms … so I am The Schismatic.

- The Shmizma-what?

- A schis-ma-tic is someone who creates a schism. … A schism is a breaking apart … a splitting up … of a whole, a unit. … Let’s say I have a big, square block. … If I were to break that apart … turn it into four separate parts … that would be a schism. … So for an individual to create a schism … they break themselves away from a group, community, church, organization, or an entire culture … or they cause discord, disruption, disunity within a group, community, church, organization or an entire culture.

- I just got to tell you you’re the most attractive young guy come in here in a long while. … She said with a large, missing tooth … chapped lips, bleeding lips … smile and heavy heaviness … sweaty, wet heaviness … and obviously she didn’t hear my Bravura but Brief Description of a Schismatic.

Ohhh, the SHAME, and didn’t care about my lesson … the Lease on Life lined up with lemon-lime lesbians … or Lassoing Lesbian Lynne Lust Licensing her Licks.

- Aw, shucks … you’re gonna make me blush … I said.

- Where’re you from, pretty boy? … It’s ok … you can blush. … She said with that crazed … glossed over … glazed … crack-horny look that dripped, drooled … the dripped some more … the drooled some more … drip … drip … drip …

I already expected that sort of disgust within disgust in a crack-head dude … that pathetic, ugly, turnaround, titanium-toothed, psychotic, insane imbecility. … But a woman? … It was Genuine Carny Horror Freak Show Sickness.

- L.A. … I replied.