As Richard and Donna are dancing, Dicky returns with his friend, Jerome Newman, an African American in his early 20’s. They watch for a minute – finding Richard and Donna’s dancing to be quite funny. When Richard and Donna see Dicky, they stop dancing.

R.K.
(after turning off the music) Ah, Dicky. I think I’ve made a new friend. Ah … I forgot your name.

D.D.
(walking over to shake Dicky’s hnd) I’m Donna Dumpt. Are you Richard’s son?

D.G.
Nooo way. Just a friend – Dicky Goes.

J.N.
(extending his hand) I’m Jerome Newman.

D.D.
Nice to meet you both.

There is thunder and screams from off stage. R.K., D.G., D.D., and J.N. are frozen again as someone off stage shouts, “He got struck by lightning!” Some people carry the body of Peter On-U onto the stage.

A.Y.W. 2
Do you think he’s dead?

A.Y.W. 3
Someone call for an ambulance! (A.Y.M. 2 runs off stage)


A.Y.W. 4
Oh my God. He looks dead.

A.Y.M. 1
(bending over the body) I think he’s got a pulse.

A.Y.W. 3
Someone give him CPR.

A.Y.W. 2
Don’t look at me. I don’t know how.

A.Y.W. 4
Hey, not me. He’s filthy. I could catch his germs.

A.Y.M. 1
Doesn’t anyone know CPR?

B.S.
(bringing her camera crew back in and speaking at the camera) Barbara Sono again. Hello L.A. Here at Venice Beach, the unbelievable has happened. It’s August and a man just got struck by lightning. In Southern California. Imagine.

A.Y.W. 2
Oh look! He’s moving.

A.Y.W.3
(sarcastically) Has he turned into Frankenstein?

A.Y.W. 4
Don’t get so close. You could get shocked.

A.Y.W. 2
You think so?

A.Y.M. 1
Are you alright? (Peter shakes his head. His hair looks stand-up-frightened.) You got struck by lightning. (as Peter tries to get up) I think you should lie still. We’ll call for medical help.

A.Y.W. 3
Did someone call for paramedics? Someone call right away.

A.Y.W. 4
(waving her cell phone) I can do it. I can do it. What’s the number?

A.Y.W. 2
911.

A.Y.W. 4
(dialing) Okay, okay. But what do I say?

A.Y.W. 3
Tell them what happened. Tell them where we are.

A.Y.W. 4
Okay, okay. Oh shit, my battery’s dead.

A.Y.M. 2
(walking on-stage) It’s alright. I called. They’re on their way.

B.S.
Did anyone see how it happened? Someone step forward and tell it all looking straight into the camera.

A.Y.W. 4
I saw it. I saw it. Put me on T.V.

B.S.
And your name is?

A.Y.W. 4
Ah … (giggling) I’m so embarrassed. My name is … my name is … Oh my God, I can’t remember my name! (suddenly screaming, she runs off-stage)

A.Y.W. 3
(stepping towards the microphone) I saw what happened.

B.S.
And your name is?

A.Y.W. 2
Look, he’s getting up.

A.Y.M. 1
You shouldn’t get up, man. Wait for the paramedics. Just stay calm.

P.O.
I feel weird.

B.S.
You’ve been seriously injured.
P.O.
(looking at his stomach) Weird.

A.Y.M. 1
Well yeah, you just got hit by lightning.

P.O.
Besides that. It’s like there’s something inside of me.

B.S.
You expected to get hit by lightning?

P.O.
Well, I’ve been so depressed. I’ve been having a lot of nightmares. I thought it might be good … to get hit by lightning. To put me out of my misery.

B.S.
You wanted to commit suicide?

P.O.
(pausing as he looks at his stomach) Yes. This is not good.

B.S.
There are less painful ways to end your life. Besides, how do you go about running into lightning?

P.O.
I was only wishing for it and it happened. But I thought that I wouldn’t even know what struck me. Like zap! – and it’d be over.

B.S.
But … ?

P.O.
But I actually saw it coming.

B.S.
You saw the lightning coming at you?

P.O.
I know. Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

B.S.
Very.


P.O.
Then suddenly I didn’t want to get hit by lightning anymore. And I started running.

B.S.
You thought you could outrun the lightning?

P.O.
Well, it was like everything was in slow motion. Very slow. I wanted to run fast. My legs were moving, but I wasn’t going anywhere.

A.Y.M. 2
He must have been doing drugs.

P.O.
No. Not anymore.

B.S.
So what did it feel like when it hit you?

P.O.
Funny.

B.S.
Funny?

P.O.
Like when you hit your funny bone.

A.Y.W. 2
Ouch.

P.O.
Right. It hurts but you can’t help laughing.

A.Y.W. 3
It’s true. I saw him running. But he was running like his pants were on fire. Not slow at all. And then he just fell to the ground.

B.S.
You saw the lightning hit him?

A.Y.W. 3
It was the strangest thing I ever saw. And I never did drugs. I saw the lightning going after him … as if it … had a mind of its own … like it hesitated from striking him … like a cat playing with a mouse.

P.O.
Yes. That’s it. He was laughing at me.


A.Y.W. 3
And then the lightning let him have it and he fell to the ground …

P.O.
Yes … Oh, he’s laughing. He’s inside me! (screaming as he jumps up and down)

B.S.
(as everyone backs away from Peter) What’s happening?

P.O.
(looking at and talking to his stomach) No. Get out of me. (pointing to his stomach) This is not your body … And it’s not going to be.

A.Y.W. 2
This guy’s definitely on drugs.

P.O.
(screaming) I’ve got a monster in me!

A.Y.W. 3
Maybe it’s an alien!

B.S.
(asking Peter) Who are you talking to?

P.O.
(as he continues speaking to his stomach, he dances around trying to shake out whatever’s inside of him) You can’t have my body … No. … Yes, I said that, but I wanted to be dead, not possessed. I don’t care if you like my body.

B.S.
(somewhat stunned) Maybe our program should be called “Only in L.A.”

P.O.
No. Please. Just leave me alone … You’ll put me to sleep so I won’t feel any more pain? … But what will you be doing with my body? … Saving the world?! You’re a god? Zope?! I never heard of Zope. That rhymes with dope. I won’t take any more dope. I promise!

A.Y.M. 1
The medics are coming.

P.O.
(still talking to his stomach and jumping around as if trying to shake something out of himself) Please leave me. I won’t even think about suicide anymore. Just get out of my body … I no longer have a choice?! You’ll take complete control of me when I go to sleep? I won’t go to sleep then.


A.Y.M. 1
(to off-stage) Hurry! Over here!

P.O.
Then I’ll kill myself and that’ll be the end of you, too …

A.Y.W. 3
I hope the medics hurry.

P.O.
What do you mean? It’s not nice to kill you? Well, it’s not nice of you to get into my body! … Someone … someone give me a gun … He’s laughing at me … someone help … give me a knife …

B.S.
I think he’s really going crazy! Can you believe it? Hello L.A. We have to take another commercial break.

P.O.
(as a couple of paramedics arrive) No. Please. I’m not crazy. Maybe I used to be, but not now. Please. (rushing off-stage) I’ll drown myself in the ocean.

The medics pursue Peter and some of the on-lookers follow, including the camera crew, but not Barbara Sono.