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The Men Who Wait

from Waiting for Amanda by Love Chaos

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about

DAY ONE (ACT ONE)

A young man sits in a director’s chair facing the audience. Dicky Goes is wearing shorts but no shirt. He seems to be studying a manuscript. On his left is a small table with his cell phone, a bottle of water and his shirt with a pack of cigarettes. Sounds of pop music is heard coming from off-stage. Soon people, mostly young, dressed for the beach, walk or skateboard in front of Dicky. These people are laughing, talking or preening to get the attention of the opposite sex.

After a minute of this, Richard Kant, fat and 60 something, wearing sweats, a big hat, gloves and very large sunglasses, arrives pulling a little red wagon which has a big stack of newspapers topped by a large statue of Jesus Christ. He also has a fold-up chair, a boom box, a bible, and some bottled water in the wagon. The parade of people and music ends.

R.K.
(stopping in front of Dicky) Happy Saturday, Dicky! Isn’t it beautiful?! Just breathe that fresh air! Today could be our lucky day. Praise the Lord!

D.G.
(as Richard sets up his chair to the right of Dicky) Say, Richard, what did I say about not sitting next to me if you’re gonna shout out that “Praise the Lord” stuff?

R.K.
(his body shaking with regret) Oh, sorry. I forgot. I forgot. Please don’t make me sit alone. I won’t say it again here. I promise. It’s just such a beautiful day …

D.G.
Okay, okay. (putting aside his manuscript as Richard happily sets up his things) Richard, you know I’m not against the way you think. I see how it makes you happy, but most of the people on the beach think it’s weird. And I don’t want them thinking I’m weird for sitting with you.

R.K.
(sitting down nervously) I understand. Thank you for letting me sit next to you, Dicky. Maybe God …

D.G.
Don’t say it.

R.K.
Maybe your kindness will be rewarded today.

D.G.
If my Amanda comes here today, it won’t be because God sent her. And it won’t be because I was kind to you.

R.K.
You never know. You want to make a little bet.

D.G.
Like what?

R.K.
If your Amanda comes here today, you go to church with me tomorrow.

D.G.
And if she doesn’t?

R.K.
I’ll give you my Bible.

D.G.
What kind of bet is that?! As if I wanted your Bible! Besides, you have so many it wouldn’t be much of a loss for you. Either way I wouldn’t be happy. Besides, I expect Amanda to show up today for a peace protest.

As Richard picks up a newspaper to read, sounds of pop music are heard again. Dicky and Richard seem frozen as people pass in front of them. Then a very attractive young woman in a bikini stops as she sees Dicky’s cigarettes. The music ends and only Dicky, Richard and the woman are on the stage.

A.Y.W. 1
(showing Dicky a cig) Say, handsome, you got a light?

D.G.
(noticing how sexy she looks, he jumps up) Sure thing, beautiful.

A.Y.W. 1
(as Dicky lights her cig, she notices Richard) Say, you aren’t with that weirdo, are you?

D.G.
(laughing uncomfortably) Yeah, pops is a little strange.

A.Y.W. 1
(sizing up Dicky physically) You don’t look like your Dad.


D.G.
Nah. He’s the uncle of a friend of mine.

A.Y.W. 1
(smoking her cig) Why’s he dressed up like that … here on the beach?

R.K.
(shaking, annoyed) I don’t want to get skin cancer.

A.Y.W. 1
So why bother coming here?

R.K.
I’m waiting for my Amanda. They said she’d meet me here.

D.G.
Yeah. His long lost love.

A.Y.W. 1
Isn’t that sweet. Like how long has Amanda been lost?

R.K.
Don’t be sarcastic.

D.G.
Ah, forget about Richard, gorgeous. Let’s go some place for a drink.

R.K.
What about your Amanda, Dicky?

A.Y.W. 1
Your Amanda?

D.G.
Not now, Richard.

A.Y.W. 1
Don’t tell me you’re both waiting for Amanda.

D.G.
Two different Amandas. Mine is someone I work with … just a friend. She’s supposed to come here for a peace protest.

A.Y.W. 1
Peace protest? This is 1999, baby. Don’t need a peace protest. Even the Cold War is over. The U.S. isn’t fighting anyone.
R.K.
Saddam Hussein.

A.Y.W. 1
I got news for you, buddy. He got beat years ago.

D.G.
Peaceful Persuasions wants the U.S. and Russia to get rid of their nuclear weapons. It’s a good cause.

A.Y.W. 1
You can’t trust the Russians. We need our weapons, just in case.

D.G.
We don’t need so many weapons of mass destruction. Imagine if somebody hit a button by mistake. It could end with terrible destruction.

A.Y.W. 1
Ooh scary. End of the world. You know, handsome, I think you might be boring to hang out with. Ain’t no party with peaceniks.

D.G.
Senorita doesn’t want to give piece a chance?

A.Y.W. 1
(walking away) Whatever. Hasta nunca, ninos.

R.K.
(standing up jubilantly) And Bueno Saturday to you!

D.G.
(after she’s off-stage) P.I.E.C.E, bitch.

A.Y.W. 1
(walking back on-stage just long enough to say …) I heard that, asshole. Wait ‘til I tell Arnaldo.

D.G.
You know you’re really ugly when you’re angry. (she leaves)

R.K.
Dicky, why are you getting so upset?

D.G.
“Bueno Saturday,” Richard? Don’t you realize she insulted us? And why did you bring up my waiting for Amanda? I coulda scored. (imitating the voice of Brando) “I coulda been a contender.” Ah, I don’t care about her brain being empty. She had a hot bod. Did you see her ass? (remembering who he’s talking to) Nevermind. Anyway, you spoiled it for me by mentioning Amanda.

R.K.
I’m sorry if …

D.G.
You’re not sorry. I know you, Richard.

R.K.
You hurt my feelings. Being sarcastic about my “long lost love.”

D.G.
She was almost 30 years older than you.

R.K.
Nobody loved me as much as she did.

D.G.
You’re talking about sex?

R.K.
That’s what you think it is.

D.G.
Yeah, you told me. She couldn’t get enough of your big dick.

R.K.
She spent most of her life in a convent.

D.G.
So she had to make up for lost time. Your brother told me she told him you should make love to her more often.

R.K.
I was working two jobs. I was too tired to …

D.G.
To do the do?

R.K.
As often as she wanted.

D.G.
Really? … So that’s why she left you?
R.K.
I don’t know, really. (pause) Why did you say you were still working with your Amanda? You told me Amanda got you fired.

D.G.
What?! You want me to tell that to a chick I’m trying to score with? How would that sound? I was in love with my boss so she fired me?

R.K.
“The truth shall set you free.”

D.G.
Please spare me your clichés. My problems are for me to deal with. The whole world doesn’t have to know.

R.K.
You’re right. Sorry. (as Dicky sits down and angrily grabs the manuscript) Do you think you’ll get the part?

D.G.
Who cares? It’s soap opera crap.

R.K.
Pays the bills.

D.G.
I’d rather act in a play by Ibsen, Shaw or Brecht.

R.K.
Doesn’t pay so well.

D.G.
As long as it pays enough. I’m tired of being a mouth for mindless drivel.

R.K.
If you became famous, maybe you could get Amanda to reconsider you.

D.G.
What?! You think she rejected my love because she thought I was a loser?

R.K.
(after a long pause) Maybe.

D.G.
Well maybe your Amanda thought you were a loser, too.

R.K.
I know I’m a loser. But I’m a loveable loser.

D.G.
And you think I’m not loveable?

R.K.
Of course you are. But remember Napoleon didn’t get his Josephine until he became famous.

credits

from Waiting for Amanda, released January 17, 2015

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Love Chaos Los Angeles, California

Love Chaos (Derek Hunter) has released 9 albums on Bandcamp:

- Black
- Love and Death
- E.I.E.
- Black Light, White Dark
- Life
- Waiting for Amanda
- Surrealist Saints
- Major Arcana
- The Light and the Dark

He has also written and published 5 books.

For more info go to -

www.love-chaos.com
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