R.K.
(getting up) I think we’d better do what he says.

D.G.
Don’t be such a scaredy cat, Richard.

ZOPE
(as Richard hurries off-stage) This won’t take long. (to Dicky) I won’t do anything to hurt Zelda. (walking closer to Dicky) I promise.

J.N.
(as he and Dicky walk off) Maybe we ought to call the cops on this guy.

D.G.
I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Let’s give the guy a chance to talk to Zelda. It’s safe in the middle of the day with a lot of people around.

Z.N.
(when alone with Zope) So, Mr. Pimp, you want to try making me be your whore?

ZOPE
Actually … I’d like you to help me save the human race.

Z.N.
Please don’t make me laugh. I’m not in the mood.

ZOPE
If you help me, I’ll tell you where your Bonnie is.

Z.N.
(jumping out of her chair) I knew it! They said I was crazy thinking she’s still alive. But you know where she is? Hallelujah, mister. What do you need for me to do? Yeah, even prostitute myself. Call it saving the human race if you want. I’ll do it. Tell me what you want.

ZOPE
I need you to let my sister borrow your body for a while.

Z.N.
What kind of work can I do for her?

ZOPE
It’s not what you’re thinking … what I’m about to tell you (putting one hand on her head) … you won’t remember if you don’t agree to what I want.

Z.N.
(as Zope withdraws his hand) This is strange, but I’ll do anything to get my Bonnie back.

ZOPE
Zelda, did you ever see the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”? (she shakes her head negatively) In the movie, the aliens took possessions of human bodies.

Z.N.
Sounds awful.

ZOPE
Well not all aliens are bad. So body snatching could be okay.

Z.N.
It doesn’t sound good to me.

ZOPE
But it would be okay, right, if the aliens didn’t really hurt anybody? … At least, not any good people.

Z.N.
I don’t believe in all that sci-fi stuff.

ZOPE
For you it sounds impossible, I know. But I’m an alien who’s taken over a human body.

Z.N.
Well, you’re just crazy if you think that. (walking sadly back to her chair) So you don’t know where Bonnie is. You’re just a nutty guy. I should have known. You’re not the first to say something like that on this beach.

ZOPE
Think whatever you want to. But I can show you where Bonnie is if you let my sister get inside your body.

Z.N.
I’m almost too depressed to care one way or another.


ZOPE

That’s what I like to hear.

Z.N.
I said – almost. Say, how does the guy feel whose body you snatched?

ZOPE
He’s just sleeping. He’s at peace. He won’t remember anything that I do while I’m in his body.

Z.N.
Well, I’d like to know what’s going on. So if I didn’t like what your sister was doing, I’d have the power to stop her.

ZOPE
I think Zup would agree to that.

Z.N.
“Zup”? Doesn’t sound like a woman’s name. I don’t want an alien man inside of me.

ZOPE
Our parents, The Zeez – whose name rhymes with ‘please’ – like what giving us godly names.

Z.N.
The Zeez? That also rhymes with ‘disease.’

ZOPE
Zup would like your sense of humor.

Z.N.
What planet did you say you’re from?

ZOPE
I didn’t say. But you can call it Iffin.

Z.N.
Never heard of it. What a bunch of baloney. So how do you spell Iffin?

ZOPE
I.F.F.I.N. We call our planet Iffin because it’s a what if kind of place.



Z.N.
Well, you’re probably crazy, but at least you’re crazy in a funny way. Tell me something – prove you’re more than human … like show me your space ship. Right. Take me to your space ship.

ZOPE
We don’t need a space ship. We travel in … what’s called our astral bodies.

Z.N.
Oh, sure. Space travel with no space ships. What a joke.

ZOPE
You’ve seen Star Trek?

Z.N.
Only to please Jerome.

ZOPE
Well, we have what we call astral projection machines. It’s a little like what happens on that sci-fi show, but we leave our physical bodies on Iffin. With our astral bodies, we can travel anywhere in the universe. I entered this body through lightning, but that was just for fun. Usually we get inside humans when they’re sleeping.

Z.N.
Sounds creepy.

ZOPE
It’s painless for the humans while we’re in them. Usually. We have been known to make mistakes. Especially the Zipps. Perhaps you’d call it collateral damage.

Z.N.
You might be crazy, but you sure have a good imagination. Still, you haven’t proven anything to me yet. Talk is cheap as they say.

ZOPE
How about if I showed you the future?

Z.N.
(skeptically) Right.

ZOPE
No, really. (going to the front of the stage) Come here. It won’t hurt you to take a look.


Z.N.
You’re going to show me the future standing here on the beach?

ZOPE
Yes. Come here. (as she reluctantly walks to where he is, he points to the audience and he gets behind Zelda) What do you see?

Z.N.
People. Buildings.

ZOPE
Right. Now close your eyes. (putting is hands on her head) Now what do you see?

Z.N.
Nothing. Of course … I’ve got my eyes closed.

ZOPE
Keep them closed. Now what do you see?

Z.N.
Oh. It’s like a desert … What are those things?

ZOPE
Cockroaches.

Z.N.
My God, they’re so big! Bigger than pigs!

ZOPE
See anything else?

Z.N.
Is that you?

ZOPE
In a different human body, but you see me as I look now.

Z.N.
I can see it’s you.

ZOPE
Right.